Close to catastrophe

Right there is no putting it off any longer and armed with our upside down fluvicarte (canal map) we slip our lines and plunge into the current and head up stream. 

It’s all very exciting.  There is more barge traffic to contend and it’s narrower than before but not so bad we feel the need to run and hide in the rushes and the scenery is really interesting.  But now comes the tricky bit; our first lock into the canalled section of the Seine.

Not as impressive without perspective!

 

First problem: sadly we discover our French is not up to alerting the lock keepers.  Even with Jean-Marie’s crib sheet and him ringing ahead to tell them some dozy Kiwi were coming we still manage to make complete derrieres of ourselves on the radio.  (At least they ended up laughing as well.  Not quite as bad as the fit of hysterical laughter I had once on the DOC radio but close!)

Next issue (I like to recall this moment in looser terms than an actual “problem”!): we forget one of the golden rules of canalling and attempt to stop a comfortable distance behind the mammoth 4 barges already jammed in the lock without looking behind us.  Needless to say when you haven’t looked behind you Murphy’s and Guinness’ law will dictate that, yes, there will be an enormous barge bearing down on you at high speed and he will be none to pleased to find a small plastic bath toy bobbing about in his pre-ordained parking spot!  One bollocking later we attempt to move up a bit.

Next problem: Having been prised off our bollard we now discover CC is way too short to bridge the gap between the next two bollards and there is nothing to tie one end to.  This is the moment the bargees wait for and I am sure how they get their kicks. 

We now have to lasso a ladder and a bollard while the barges take it in turns to motor ahead against their lines to create whirlpools and stormforce 10 conditions in the lock.  All I can say is no wonder French boaters are known for excessive use of the boathook… it’s the only way to prevent major catastrophes in these circumstances!  Finally we get sorted out and the lock begins to fill...

…and now we discover Problem 4:  these are not floating bollards and we have to keep slipping the lines and moving them up a peg or two as all the while we are slopping backwards and forward in the maelstrom that is prop wash and tsunami-like filling conditions - oh happy day when we finally reached the top! 

Needless to say some of our language during our fairly stressful ascent would have offended most folk but obviously bargees are made sterner stuff and they just laughed and smiled as we were tossed about.  The sight of us scrabbling with lines, randomly dashing about to poke the giant disappearing walls and each other with our toothpick-like boathooks must have appeared somewhat like a sped up swashbuckling pirate flick, you know the bit where the victim is trying to ward of the boarding party and failing badly.  Indeed the attendant barges appeared to have enjoyed our performance so much that they very graciously tootled out of the lock under extra low power in order to reduce any further stress or perhaps just to lull us into a false sense of security – thanks boys and girls we learnt a lot!

Hiding in the bushes!

 

Luckily for us the stopping point for the day was just up river and when we finally made fast we collapsed in a heap and thanked our lucky stars that we are still agile enough to leap around on deck and prevent trouble. 

Poses is a lovely spot by the way and not a barge in sight!